The encouraged and the unique for unlikely treasure

Encouragement is one of the most useful tools a parent can have. However, it is easy to overlook. Ask any parent of a preteen how they manage, and patience will likely be the answer. Take this one step further, and ask a parent of a teenager how they manage, and everything changes. The parent gets a distant look in the eye, and there appears to be a sense of longing for bygone days of peace and happiness.

It’s no secret that teenagers are a tough crowd. In fact, anyone reading this, was once a teenager. Possibly. There is also the possibility that boundaries and rules take a big hit during the first teen year. And that’s not all. Not only does it become a freedom struggle, but also the cost of everything rises. Exponentially.

With this in mind, anyone raising a teenager, can feel like they’ve lost their mind by the end of the day. There is a spoiler alert here. However the hopeful purpose of this article is to focus on encouragement. That is an attempt at humor. Humor is a valuable mindset for a teenager parent.

The Encouraged

The first thing to go, is communication. Going from cool to irrelevant, is a given, for the parent of a teenager. And it’s a recurring problem. What’s cool today is lame tomorrow. In fact, it was lame yesterday. It’s so easy to fall behind. This phenomenon would be enough, except it evolves further, as the teen years become the young adult years.

After all the time, and years, the former teenager becomes the parent. They are facing a new, and unique set of challenges. As I listened and tried to understand, I remembered back to a similar situation. I recall the view points and solutions I was prepared to offer. Even though the same approach hadn’t helped in the past, I was going to stubbornly try again.

If not for a rainy afternoon and a visit with pops, it would’ve been another missed opportunity. During a rare visit, everyone had the chance to catch up with pops. He was the oldest of all the elders. Near the end of the day he and I were talking. There were many concerns I had for my teenager. Additionally I had ideas about how to fix things. Fix the relationship.

Unlikely Treasure

I will always remember the kind and wise way pop was staring at me. And how, in a cheerful voice he says, “You know all about what is wrong, but have you considered encouraging what is right? Try appreciating the effort, and encouraging it.” Then, a little quieter, “Focus on the positive, and encourage more.”

It was simple, but it made all the difference. I began immediately. In time, I noticed a peculiar side effect to offering encouragement. It required listening. Lots of listening. As it turns out, that was one of the leading causes of the falling behind, issue.

It was amazing to learn so much, and so quickly, from just listening. Similarly offering encouragement, whenever possible. It was a challenge at times. And it required a mindful approach, but it helped. It helped so much, and I think that is what pops was trying to say.

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The encouraged

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